Keeping the Balance Between Fun and Discipline

Many parents struggle with the amount of authority they want to use to raise their kids with. Dealing with the kids and being a working parent at the same time is not easy.

Guiding your kids through adolescence takes establishing a good work-life balance. It is not as simple as one might think to use the right amount of authority and discipline. Some say that as a parent you should be the boss and your kid should obey to all your rules. Others say that being too strict might cause your kids to rebel and not listen to you.

In a sense, both of these statements are true. Many times your kids should listen to you because you are the adult and you know best. You know and understand the consequences of their actions and you want what’s best for them.

Other times you should let your kids have a say. Let your kids wear whatever they want, as long as it is not inappropriate, you should let them organize their room however they like, and you should treat them to ice cream, once in a while.

But there are some matters where the difference between fun and discipline is not so clear. For example, the amount of time you let them stay on the internet, what they get to watch, when they sleep over, etc.

How you were raised

A good thing to do is try to remember how your parents raised you, if you now understand why they did what they did and if you want to raise your kids the same way. Many people resent their parents because they weren’t understanding enough growing up. Others might hate the fact that their parents spent more time working than with them, and some might even not talk to their parents because they had a fallout while they were teenagers.

To make your life easier, take a deeper interest in your kid. If your kid wants to sleep over at a friend make sure to know who their parents are. Ask them for their phone number, and if your kid is very young, call in to see if everything is alright. Don’t just say “no” because you want your kid to “respect” you.

Talk to your kids

If you want to have a good relationship with your kids, even if you set rules, talk to them. Most of the time you can solve your problems by communicating. If a rule you have set bothers them, they will explain carefully why it does so. Try to explain to them why you made that decision and why it is for their best. When you assess a healthy communicating relationship, you are more keen to have fewer arguments.

But be mindful. Sometimes, even if we have the best intentions we might make the wrong decisions. Without realizing we might hurt our kids, and that is the last thing we want to do. Learn to apologize and try to make it right.

Explain to your kids that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Our personal life sometimes gets in the way. We might want to do a midlife career change and the stress has gotten the best of us. Or we might have something personal going on.